Running Backwards

I want to start out by saying I hate blog posts that are full of apologies for not blogging.

So this won’t be one of those.

It’s more a progress report on things I had expected to get done… and didn’t.

Do you ever underestimate — make that unbelievably underestimate — the amount of time things take?

I have this blog post about dyeing fabric and clothing, and it’s all written (I did that part while the washing machine was working it’s magic).  The photos are taken; all that’s left to be done is to edit the pics for pixel size and get them plugged into the post.  Thought I’d have that done by Saturday.  And here it is, Monday, and I didn’t even touch it over the weekend.

I’ve got an article for the IPCA website on getting a website made.  Thought I’d have plenty of time to get that done for the newsletter and turn it in on Friday.  I didn’t get it done.  In fact, I didn’t even touch my computer between Friday afternoon and today!

Ditto on getting the weekend orders shipped, sewing my friend’s anniversary dress, cleaning my laundry off my bedroom floor, sweeping the library, and mowing the lawn.

And yet… I had a super busy weekend.  Went out to dinner with our kids, went clothes shopping with my husband, spent time romantically with him, we got the grocery shopping done together, and he cleaned both refrigerators while I went to youth group.

It was a question of priorities.  The lesson in this for me is that I must be more aware of the people in my life than I am of the work in my life.  I don’t think balance is really possible.  There are times when work is going to run backwards because family is more important.

Lately I had been hearing small comments from my children that I’m always working.  I must listen to those things and take them seriously; they know I’m a workaholic.  I get razzed about it, but there’s a kernel of sadness in those teasing comments.  When family runs backward because work is more important, then I have to acknowledge that I’ve got a problem.  In that moment, I realized I’d been saying “no, I can’t do ________  with you because I have to work” too many times.

– – – – – – – – – –

15 minutes later…

Wow.  Timing is funny sometimes.

As I was writing the above part, I could hear Mark moving around upstairs.  Like he often does, he came down to my studio to tell me about his dream from the night before.  He’s done that since he was a little kid – shared his dreams with me.  This one was about his family getting kidnapped and he came to the rescue, ‘Die Hard’ style.  He’s got a vivid imagination and he’s a good storyteller.  I love all his dreams, with the exception of the zombie ones.  In that case, I will ask him to just give me the cliff notes version, because “gross” just doesn’t even come close to describe it.

Anyway.

As I sat there and laughed at the antics of his dream-self, I was reminded that he’ll be in Iraq by this time next year.   And while we’ll have Skype so we can keep in touch, I doubt he’ll be calling me to tell me his dreams.  Would I be willing to let work run backwards if he did that?  Absolutely.  Without hesitation.  So why should it be any different while he’s still home with us?

It was a sobering thought.

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